"And now for something totally irreverent ..."

Characters welcome!

Time to celebrate the NFL. This is Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo. As you probably already know, I have five main passions in life, and here they are, in no particular order:

• My family
• Making cheap dick jokes
• Football
• Masturbation, sex, or any other means of achieving climax (i.e. Jacuzzi jet)
• Nurturing my alcoholism

This comprehensive viewing guide will feature a whole lot of Nos. 2-5 on that list. It's 21 weeks of bonerrific football goodness, and it all starts tonight. So let's dive in, shall we?

Among the list:

Five Potential Key Injuries

• Thomas Jones (strained calf)
• Eli Manning (withered psyche)
• Chad Johnson (broken inner child)
• Warren Sapp (swollen gunt)
• Rodney Harrison (elephantitis of the mandible)

This Week's Suicide Pick

Each week I'll be picking a team for your suicide pool, ...

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