The SeattleWeekly carries a column by Gustavo Arellano (with a poorly chosen graphic) that ran recently with this exchange:
Dear Mexican,
I am a gaybacho who has lived with his hombre for the past eight years. I've made my peace with his lack of house cleaning, laundry washing, and finance managing, all in the name of "Men raised in Mexico don't perform those womanly tasks." It's cool—I love him. One thing he has done for years is give money to his mother in Mexico. It's gotten to the point where I have as well. I want the lady to be OK, and she doesn't have much. However, he tends to spend whatever he has, and when madre calls, he sends the rest in her direction, leaving nothing to pay for part of our bills. This usually results in lots of overtime for me. How do I tell him to spend more carefully without hurting his ego or offending the family? I have built a tremendous rapport with his family and would never want to hurt their feelings. Is there a tactful way to do this and keep everyone happy?
Gringo Homo
Dear Gaybacho,
Sorry, papi chulo, but you're fighting a losing battle. Every woman and joto who has fallen for a Mexican man eventually realizes that his mother will always remain the número uno mujer in his life. Don't hold it against him—it's a cultural trait wrapped in Oedipal, Catholic, indigenous, and conquistador intrigue, coupled with Mom's excellent enchiladas. Hombres become dependent on mami's love and daily laundry duties, and thus become lackadaisical in household affairs. The genius of this setup is that most Mexican men trick unwitting dupes—dupes like you—into assuming those matriarchal responsibilities under the auspice of amor. Man up, gaybacho! Tell your Latin lover to act more responsibly—simple as that. And if that doesn't work, you must withhold the culo until he understands.
/filed under: Married to a Man
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Married to a Man: "Withhold the culo"
